This is Queer: Andie

Andie has a smile that permeates into their every movement. It’s almost as if they are the walking embodiment of giddiness. And they bring that spirit to all elements of their identity.

“I’ve always struggled with my sexuality and my gender identity, but once I discovered that I identified as queer, both with my sexuality and gender, it was always something that just made sense to me.” This was a key to Andie finding that happiness, learning more about their own identity.

Andie grew up in New Kent, about a 30-minute car ride east of Richmond. They came to Richmond via VCU with a desire to pursue studies in lighting design after developing a passion for theatre in college. But their quest to learn about who they are — that started in childhood.

“Growing up, I was very limited in my ability to truly express myself and truly explore my identity. I came from an abusive household with an extremely unaccepting family and didn’t feel safe, physically or emotionally, enough to tap into that part of my self discovery. Specifically because my parents have always been very outspoken homophobes and transphobes, in addition to being emotionally and sometimes physically abusive,” Andie shared. “I came out as bisexual when I was 12 to some of my friends at school. I knew very early on in life that I was attracted to women but due to the strong homophobia expressed from my parents I was always closeted with them.”

Andie’s fears about their sexuality weren’t limited to home. They were bullied and teased at school, and the combination of the two caused them to go back into the closet and conceal their sexuality from others once more. However, when entering community college and gaining a new community in theatre and arts, Andie began to open emotionally to exploration of their sexuality and gender identity once more. With those new relationships and stronger sense of self confidence, they felt ready to share their identity with their parents. The results were not what they hoped for.

“After making a lot of wonderful friends in the theatre department at the community college I was attending, I began to rediscover my sexuality and came out as bisexual before later adopting pansexual. I came out to my dad one morning about my sexuality and received a horrible response. He said things to me like ‘since when?’ and “when did you decide this?’ He didn’t speak to me for over a week. After that I closeted myself again and it just became something we never spoke about.”

This launched Andie into a significant mental health crisis and launched them into therapy. These sessions created a safe space for them to process the trauma of an unsupportive family and further explore their own notions of sexuality and gender free of the pressures experienced at home. It was through therapy that Andie was able to discover and embrace their identity as non-binary.

“I identify as non-binary and am playing around with different things to see how it makes me feel. I recently got my first binder and am currently exploring ways to feel more comfortable in my body to line up my mental image of myself with my physical body.”

Living in Richmond has played a big part of Andie’s emergence in an identity and a presentation that feels right, feels authentic, to them. They feel at home here, feel embraced as themself as they are.

“There has always been such a strong sense of community for LGBTQ+ in Richmond, and when I began exploring my sexuality and gender more I’ve felt nothing but support and encouragement. As somebody who came from a traumatic environment, this kind of support has meant so much to me in ways that I really can’t describe.”

Embracing their queerness has been revolutionary in transforming not only Andie’s life and perception of self but how they connect with others.

“I feel like my queer identity allows me to create a safe space for others. Being closeted and unable to piece together my identity for so long really impacted my mental health negatively,” they said. “And if I can impact others in a positive way or provide any sort of safe space for people who need it so they don’t have to feel that way it’s going to be something I want to do. It allows me to be accepting of all types of individuals since I’ve experienced a lot of rejection for being who I am.”

While “queer” has meant fear and trauma for Andie in the past, today, the word means something entirely different.

“When I think of the term ‘queer,’ I think of community, acceptance, love, chosen family and friendship.”